The Only Boy For Me by Gil McNeil

Author:Gil McNeil [McNeil, Gil]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2001-08-25T20:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To

Charlie comes home from school clutching an invitation to a birthday party, and is already wildly excited because the birthday boy, Jack, has promised there’ll be a magician and Coke and indoor fireworks. I ring Jack’s mum Clare to ask for tips on a present, and tell her Charlie is thrilled about the magician and fireworks. She says, ‘What magician?’ and it turns out she was planning on Pass the Parcel and lots of jelly, but may be forced to reconsider now or ruin Jack’s reputation entirely. We agree that small boys really are hopeless, and I promise to ring Kate to see if she knows any magicians who are likely to be available at very short notice.

By the time I ring Kate Clare has already called her, but she couldn’t help. We’ve decided on a joint birthday party for Charlie and James this year, which is due in a couple of weeks. Kate has booked the local swimming pool for a vast fee, and the café upstairs will provide a birthday tea. We’re allowed to bring our own cake, but everything else has to come from the café at hugely inflated prices. But – and this is the really fantastic bit – they do all the cleaning up afterwards, blow up all the balloons, and even provide a party helper. Marvellous. I don’t care what it costs as long as I don’t have to pick squashed birthday cake out of the living-room carpet.

Kate also has Phoebe’s party to sort out for next month, which is proving far more tricky. The only hints Phoebe will give her are that James is not allowed to come, and if Kate won’t let her wear make-up and high heels she’ll die. She’s on a bit of a mission about make-up at the moment, and Kate has had to start hiding her make-up bag in the back of the wardrobe to foil Phoebe’s attempts to leave the house looking like Pat Butcher in EastEnders. I come up with the inspired suggestion that Kate books someone from a beauty salon to come round and do a full make-up for Phoebe and her friends, and then Kate can take photographs of them all. Kate rushes off to tell Phoebe and rings back ten minutes later to say sulking Phoebe has been transformed into hysterically happy Phoebe, and I’m invited to the party as guest of honour, but only if I promise not to bring Charlie.

It looks like the second dog-food job is on, and Barney has been ringing in an increasingly hysterical state because Lawrence has arranged for countless owners with St Bernard dogs to turn up at the office so Barney can see if he likes the look of them. I spend hours on the phone sorting out the studio and crew, and Mack threatens to visit the shoot with a couple of cats just to liven things up. We are due to meet up this weekend, but I tell him if he makes one more crack about cats he can stop in London.

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